Never in my life did I think I would be sharing something that has been so soul destroying and confidence killing with so so many people out on a public domain. Even this very blog post has been drafted many times and then deleted because I couldn’t get myself to open up this huge vulnerability of mine. But finally, I decided that if my experiences and mistakes can help even just one person, then its worth it. But please know this is very very hard for me..

Ok, here we go.. Lets go back to my teenage years when it started.  Ive had mild acne since I was around 14. My mum said it was genetics because she had it too. I just thought, hey I’ll grow out of the puberty acne stage. Although it affected me in school and the way I looked at myself, I just kept telling myself it will eventually fade away.

Lets fast forward to a 23 year old me, where I had tried everything and I literally  mean everything from healthy eating, to anti biotics, to natural cures, some random blue light therapies – and nothing worked. In fact the more the tried to do to get rid of it the worse it seemed to be getting. Add modeling and fashion blogging into the equation where I had to be photographed everyday and wear foundation daily too – and my skin entered its worst phase ever.

Very desperate to do something about it, I tried even more creams and visited some more cosmetic clinics.. everything to vain. It got so bad at one point, that I didn’t want to wake up in the morning to even look at myself in the mirror or go out to meet people. Also, I constantly felt like quitting modeling and blogging. My family have been so loving through it all. And mum always said to me that its always the darkest before the sun rises.  I hadn’t really understood that phrase until one night amidst my agony, I read an article online on this drug called Accutane / Roaccutane. This drug has been my sun rise.

I read that a lot of people with severe acne benefitted from it. But I also read tons of negative reviews about the dangers of this drug so I spoke to my mum about it (since she is a doctor) and she suggested I go meet a dermatologist in London. The next day I booked an appointment with one of the best dermatologists in London, Dr. Friedmann of the Harley Street Dermatology Clinic. He spoke to me and questioned me about my history with acne and without hesitation prescribed me to Roaccutane (I will write another full post with all the details of the drug etc soon). So anyway, despite all the dangerous side effects I had read about, I started on it that very same day(desperate for it to work). And Im so happy to say that today, 4.5 months later, is the last day of my course and I’m completely acne free for the first time in my life since 14. I have absolutely clean spot-less skin, only some minor scarring which is also fading quickly. I sit here writing this today struggling to imagine how I didn’t do this sooner. Roaccutane completely changed my life and gave me my confidence back, which I am forever thankful for.

The struggle had been real and I’ve learnt a lot along the way. Here is what I really want you guys to take away from this. Firstly, please please never judge anyone in life. You never know the struggles people actually face. People might put on a hard exterior but might be suffering on the inside. Therefore, please never make fun of someone based on their looks or otherwise, we have to empower each other and not tear each other down. I still remember this one blogger (not going to mention her name) but she met me once and actually said to me “You’ve got such a pretty face, shame your skin is so bad.. Bet your followers wouldn’t even recognize you without makeup”. Let me tell you, I am a very strong person and I usually never let people’s statements affect me. But that night when I saw myself in the mirror, it really did affect me. I felt like I was lying to you guys and covering all my acne with a shit load of foundation and editing. But, I promised myself I would share my acne story one day. I like sharing positive stories and stories where I have overcome my adversity so that way I can help you guys through my experiences. From the start, I decided that the blog would be a positive arena and not a place where I brood. And here we are, I have over come this almost decade long adversity and Im here to tell you guys, Im truly from the bottom of my heart grateful for it all. For the acne, for the rude comments for the struggles because they all made me the strong spiritual woman I am today.

One last piece of advice to anyone who is currently going through acne, please don’t lose hope – there is lots of options to cure it, no matter how severe it is. Please please go see a dermatologist and get it looked at. They seriously do know the best. I know it can be expensive for some, but in the long run you will save a lot of money by visiting a dermatologist than trying out every other method known to man in hopes of curing it.

Without further adieu, here are real life photos from 4/5 months ago (sorry they are poor quality just taken from my laptop). I didn’t think I was ever going to write this post nor did I ever want to take photos of my awful skin really so these are just a few that I have..

Acne pic

 

And these are selfies I’ve taken since the treatment started working. They are my completely bare skin or just with a mild bb cream on. Im truly soo so grateful for my skin today. Now all I have left to tackle is a bit of minor scarring (I can write another post on that soon too).

skin diipakhosla

If you have any more question’s please don’t hesitate to leave them below or my social media channels and I promise to answer as many of them as I can!

I love you guys very much and thank you so much for being on this beautiful journey with me. Without your constant support, I would have quit on the blog many times. Your words touch me like no other and now I hope I can touch you with my stories.

We are all in this together- #Diiers for LIFE!

HUGS, YOUR Dii x

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25 comments

  1. Is true always what they say the world is nasty mean place will try to beat you down to your knees but you have stood along and fight along and look at you now so proud of you you did it keep it up sis

  2. You look AMAZING. I’m praying Roaccutane is available here in the states. You are absolutely flawless with AND without makeup!

  3. You are so beautiful!! Thank you for finally putting up a blog about you’re skin! You may not think it but it’s beautiful even with whatever imperfections you say you have. You are an inspiration 🙂

  4. Hello beautiful,
    I’m also suffering from acne (I’m female, 16 1/2) for about 3-4 years and nothing can help me get rid of it. I also went to different dermatologists but the stuff they gave to me didn’t help either way.. So, now I’m really curious about this Roaccutane. I’ll maybe search a new dermatologist (once again haha) and ask her/him about it. Thank you so much for sharing this. This may will help me which nothing ever did before! But not getting my hopes up too high yet haha, thanks a lot! x

  5. Wow – such an honest and brave account of your tough journey, thank you so much for sharing it’s so nice to know there are other women out there going through the same experience, especially someone as beautiful as you. Very brave of you to post those pictures but I’m so pleased that the treatment worked your skin looks wonderful 🙂

  6. Thank you for putting this up I love reading about other peoples experiences, I makes me feel a little better about mine. In currently on my third month and the acne has definitely improved, however I have really bad scarring which has not improved at all yet, did you have any scarring? If so how long till it improved? I’m also 23 and have been taking diffident medication for 12 years! I hope this is the last for it and my skin can look as clear as yours!

  7. Diipa, your’e a brave soul ! Thank you for sharing your battle and how you have overcome it, and encouraging so many of us. You’re right we all have our own struggles, and though the darkness surrounds, the sun comes up when the time is ours 🙂 Bless you dear, I was your senior in Hebby though you probably wont remember me ! Stay strong and positive !

    Love

  8. My dearest baby , today ( its sunshine all the way) I am the proudest mother as I read this post .( my acne story ) I sincerely thank each of your Diiers for thier love and support. You have the REAL INNER GUTS , that brings tears flowing .I am proud that Iam blessed with a beautiful amazing kind , loving daughter like my diipu baby . So so PROUD . your sharing will change the way people think and judge others . Jai Sai – lots of love mae

  9. My beauty queen u are realy a strong person and yes u are truly beautiful girl. Im going through the same face lyk u and im fedup with my bad skin and acnes. I always try to hide my acne in my pics too. Thank u so much for sharing your story with us. It wil realy help people whz suffering with this problem. Love u so much ♥

  10. Hi Diipa,

    I have cystic acne and I have acne since my teenage years. Even I have been told the same thing that eventually your face will clear and trust me I have tried almost everything. But after seeing your post even I have become hopeful. And that my skin will get clear too because at the moment it is pretty bad. Lots of love xx

  11. Hats off you to Dipps, I am so glad you decided to share this post with all of us.
    I’ve been suffering from cystic acne since age 14 and its been almosy 6 years now. I’ve tried all sort of medication, diet,but nothing worked out so far. Its so painful and a confidence killer 🙁 Covering up with foundation makes it even more worser as I’ve pale and hypersensitive skin. On a personal note, I’d love to see more skin care (routine) and fitness posts too from your side.

    1. Proud of you sweety. What a brave and courageous thing to share! Acne is more common than everyone thinks. We all just try to hide it under makeup – that’s all. Kudos to you for using your position and blogging platform to normalize this condition that effects the self-esteem of millions of girls worldwide. I’m sure you have comforted many out there by showing that even models have problems with their skin! Proud of my ex-roomie 🙂 Keep it up hun. Kisses from Aruba Xx

  12. Girl, more power to you! You are a wonderful fashion blogger and a great stylist! No matter what your struggles, you really do shine through! Keep Sharing more inspirational stories. I am going to share this with my dearest friend, who is facing the same problem and I know how she feels! She would be so happy to reach this

  13. Thank you VERY much for sharing your story about Acne, it helped me a lot in many ways. I will keep my letter short because I know that you get many emails. I wanted to know if you can advise me on what products or methods your using to clear the acne scars and dark spots. Also, I know you also mentioned somewhere that you are using a brush to wash your face with, what brand do you recommend and what foundation brand and colour do you use? What is your favourite natural blush as well.

    Thank you very much for reading this. I hope the best for you. I hope you get a chance to read this.

  14. Hi,
    I’m currently on the journey of trying acutane I’m extremely excited and after reading your blog I’ve got high hopes. I’ve visited the dermatologist clinic and they are amazing! Your whole experience of acne is 100% the same experience I had and am having still for now until I get my acutane, which will hopefully be soon. I would like to know what creams and foundations you reccomend using as the effect of dryness is inevitable. I also want to do a video diary during my treatment and wondered if you know how i could start it off?
    Thanks
    Jasmine x

  15. Your story is so inspiring! I am a teen and have been struggling with acne for a few years. It’s hard to look people in the face or stare at a mirror because I am so ashamed. But I just had my first visit with the dermatologist and he gave me a new medicine that is working pretty well. But I still have tons of scars my face is so red. I feel like nobody gets what I am going through. It especially sucks when one of my friends with there perfect skin says “OMG I have a pimple!” Then glances at me like some sad puppy. But after hearing yours and so many others stories it gave me hope! Thanks

  16. This really touched.. I deal with the same everyday of my life.. I tried almost everything and nothing is working out.. The skin clinics literally cost too much for me to afford.. I don’t know what am I gonna do.. I just hope that there will be a sunrise for me very soon..!!
    And I just love you your my inspiration, motivation.. ❤❤❤

  17. Hi Diipa,

    Thanks for your honesty which many women face on a daily basis – myself included and I’m now 32. I wondered if you had stayed on or were put on birth control when taking this medication? And did you stay on it after you completed your course? I have been asked to go onto it but on a higher strength of roaccutane for 4 months.

    Warm wishes,
    Sophia

  18. hello dear. my name is yvonne from kenya. as i read your story i felt like it was me narrating it. have had the same issue since i was 14 years old…have u used all products i could but am still the same. am turning 25 years this april. i feel like have cried enough. i feel alone. kindly help me! u the only can understand how i feel

  19. Hi friend so my acne now starting to get severe I cannot believe it can also grow on my back, shoulder, arms and even in my legs. I will try the accutane roaccutane and wish it will cure my acne thank you

  20. Thank you for sharing your articles.You are a wonderful fashion blogger and a great stylist. I am so glad that I have found your blog. I can`t get rid of my acne and now I am definitely going to follow your tips. Greetings!

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